Christmas Ideas for my Children

May 21, 2008

To All:

I have received multiple requests for gift ideas for the boys and wanted to end the suspense by offering some insight into what our loving sons really want Santa to bring them this year.  I will try to keep the list reasonable, but excuse me if I occasionally get sidetracked; it’s been a long month. 

For Mackinley:

1.      Cordless drill preferably a Black and Decker (not for performance, but because he thinks black and orange is way cool).  He does not want the 14 volt model; he prefers something that will ratchet his arms out of the socket when he attempts to disassemble all the other toys that you may be thinking of purchasing for him this season.









2.      Electric guitarhe is not concerned with the make and model, only that it will propel him to “Naked Brother Band” level stardom in less time than it takes him to unwrap it Christmas morning.  Oh, and he wants a thermos to plug it into. For some reason, he believes that amplifiers and thermoses have a shared functionality and one can stand in for the other.

3.      Wii, XBox, PS3, and a Nintendo DS Mack is not big into research so he is unsure which one is best suited for his needs.  He feels that if he is provided one of each, he can then decide which ones can be sacrificed to the cordless drill (option #1) that you purchased for him.

4.      Leather Jacket, Mack appears to be reinventing himself.  The new Mack has big hair, wears leather, and gambles with Pokemon cards.  I blame this on the “Grease” soundtrack that Connie provided to the boys in their formative years.

5.      Motor cycle, refer to #4.

6.      Pokemon Cards,  Mack wants Pokemon cards really bad, trouble is he wants a specific card,  a card which I believe does not exist in this dimension.  Failure to produce this card results in complete and utter devastation.  You would probably have a better chance of finding the real Pokemon inviting him/her/it (not sure what it is) over for eggnog than finding the card Mack wants, so negate my last suggestion it will only produce pain and misery.


7.      Hand gun, Cross bow, or medieval war hammer, Mack prefers the real deal, if you supply him with anything made out of plastic or wood he will simply disassemble with option #1.  He assures me that he will be careful and that all implements of war will be stockpiled in the upper reaches of my closet where all things sharp, dangerous, and deadly are stored.  He specifically directed this request to Mum-Mum as he feels she is the most likely vehicle of success when asking for weaponry.   


For Cayden:


1.      Surplus of  Unhealthy Snacks, He did not specifically request this as a Christmas gift this season but I hear it  at least ten times a day so I am going to go out on a limb and suggest it.  Terry, make it snow cheese curls Christmas Eve and Cayden will be yours for all eternity.  


 2.      Drums, I think Cayden plans on hooking his wagon to Mack’s star.  He didn’t request a thermos to go with it, but knowing how competitive my boys are if you could include some other kitchen utensil in the box with the drums you may save me and Con from breaking up an argument.




3.      Chuck-E-Cheese plastic zippered pencil pouch, Cayden really wants the pencil pouch located at Chuck-E-Cheese, it’s on the second shelf next to the rubber tarantula and behind the super spy magnifying glass.  Con and I would get it for him, but it cost 13,000 tickets which is the equivalent of 72-straight hours of skeet ball or $4,200.




4.      Suzanne Summers Bone Muscle Blaster-  Cayden wants to maintain his physique but does not want to have to work at it real hard, so if you could find him a rib cage enhancing fitness device he would really appreciate it.




5.      Legos or Gorilla– Cay loves legos, he also kind of likes the idea of having a live pet, preferably something that is large, powerful and has an opposable thumb.  You chose which one is in your price range; I see pros and cons to both.




6.      G.I. Joe’s,  Cayden enjoys playing with G.I. Joe, do me a favor if you purchase a G.I. Joe will you please buy the accessories that go with it.  I spend more time trying to get Joe to grasp weapons that don’t belong to the G.I. Joe genre than I care to comment on.


7.      Pirate Videos,  Cayden is a pirate-a-holic, can’t get enough of Jack Sparrow and his crew so this is always a safe bet.    That being said be careful what pirate video you purchase; Cayden keeps grabbing “the Pirate” at Block Buster every time we go, starring Carmen Elecktra, not exactly the type of film you want you’re 5-year old watching. If I could be of any further assistance let me know, I am here to support. shane


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