Things you should do today…

July 15, 2008

This is a list of items that you should do with your kids today. I stress the need to do these things now because in the not so distant future your kids will most likely not want to talk to you,  let alone do any of the following activities.It’s not an all-inclusive list. I am sure many of you have activities that are specific to your families, but some of these are pretty common across the board. Here it is:

1. Let the kids stay up late to catch lightning bugs. If you want the deluxe version of lightning bug catching, have them go at it with bare feet and pajama bottoms. A thin coat of bug spray is recommended. To keep them mentally/ physically sharp, feed them roasted marshmallows intermittently throughout the evening.

2. Come home from work and regardless of how horrible your day was immediately ask your kids if they want to toss a baseball around. The key is to initiate contact. If they ask you first, then it’s too late. The impact will not be as profound. This is really just parental slight of hand- a way of subliminally suggesting that you have been impatiently waiting to rush home and join them in one of their favorite activities because you think it’s way cool. This simple act will resonate with them for years to come.

3. Sit your boys down and spend a spring morning organizing your tackle box and untangling your fishing reels from the previous summer. To do this effectively, fail to recall who tangled the reels in the first place.

4. Let your boys crack the eggs for the morning omelets. Remove the shell fragments when they’re not looking. Put a handful of chocolate chips in their pancakes to sweeten the deal.

5. Take them out for ice cream after dinner even if they didn’t finish the main course.

6. Lose your honey-do list, make some popcorn and snuggle with your kids on the couch and spend the morning watching something they enjoy.

7. Let them pick out the cereal next time you go to the grocery store, even if it is Lucky Charms and the only reason they want it is for the cheap toy at the bottom of the box.

8. Take them to the toy store “just to look”.

9. Fill up the inflatable pool in the backyard and engage in squirt gun warfare for an afternoon. Grass will grow again, but your kids only do so once.

10. Hold your child’s hand even if you’re not in a parking lot or crossing the street. Eventually they will become too old/self-conscious to do so willingly.

11. Put a band-aid on every Boo Boo even if it’s just hurt feelings. Band-aids are cheap but when you’re five years old, a band-aid validates what you’re feeling (sometimes life is painful). Besides, band-aids fix everything.

12. Prove to your kids that you’re the strongest human being on the planet by wrestling all of them at the same time using only one arm to defend yourself.

13. Let your kids dress themselves when you’re about to go out in public and don’t make them modify what they put on. For example, Mack wore his red suede cowboy hat with purple ostrich plume (pimp hat) and camouflage Crocs when we went shopping at the Post Exchange. Cayden normally dresses like Jack Sparrow for our shopping excursions.

14. Ask your kids what there favorite toy is and then attempt to build it with home improvement leftovers you have laying around the garage. My kids and I have built robots, toy guns, and an unusually awkward-looking skateboard ramp. It’s not the product, but the process that gets the most enjoyment.

15. Find a secret Sunday morning place that only you and your kids know about. My boys and I have a favorite coffee shop that we go to when we are out doing man things. Our secret place provides the perfect venue for discussing serious thought-provoking issues such as the state of the economy, football and what species of creature Pokimon really is (for the record I voted for Koala Bear). Connie doesn’t know where we go, so please keep this one a secret.

16. Teach your boys how to shave, the power of deodorant and the exhilarating feel of Aqua-Velva on freshly-scraped skin.

17. Let your kids drive a screw with your prized cordless drill. Don’t openly weep when they accidentally drop it on the garage floor.

18. Get matching tattoos while playing high dollar slots when Mom is out of town. (got you Pammy).For the record I would never let my boys play slots; craps has a higher payoff.

Send me your thoughts on those things that you consider must-do’s before your kids hit the “I hate my parents” teenage years. I am interested in knowing if I missed any good ones.

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Pammy posted the following on July 16, 2008 at 3:26 am.

Oh I love these. SO true…
Giggling at your direct comments to me. You should start hyperlinking me if you know what’s good for you.

admin posted the following on July 17, 2008 at 3:03 am.

Pammy, You sound very intimidating with that “if you know what’s good for you” talk. Connie said you were funny, now I know for myself.

Connie promised to show me how to hyperlink, so as soon as she does I’ll get started, so don’t put me in a hurt locker just yet.

Pammy posted the following on July 19, 2008 at 5:07 am.

I see you figured it out! I look forward to the eyebrow pruners you are sending.

Sherri posted the following on July 26, 2008 at 6:17 pm.

Your post made me cry. A good cry though.

admin posted the following on August 3, 2008 at 4:36 pm.

Sherri, hopefully my next couple of post made you laugh.

Miss you Pammy, havent intercepted one of your calls in a while, eyebrow pruners may be difficult to locate, but if they get to unruly come stay with us for a week and I’ll apply my belt sander to’em.

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