Introducing Larry…

July 21, 2008

This is an important development in the Groah household so I wanted to get it out as quickly as possible. My youngest son will no longer be known as Cayden; he has chosen to relinquish his given name in favor of something much more exotic. Tonight at dinner, Connie and I were delivered the news: The boy formerly known as Cayden will now forever be known as “Larry”. Yes, folks, you heard me, Cayden has changed his name to Larry-  we had a formal ceremony and everything. We chanted, we danced around the table, we repeated some ancient incantations and before our very eyes Cayden transformed into Larry. Mack jumped in with potential name changes as well, but I quickly told him that parents could only conduct the official name changing ritual once very 24-hours. Tomorrow at dinner, Mack will unveil his new handle- can’t wait for that one.  I’ll bet my paycheck that Mack’s new name has the word “butt” nestled comfortably inside it.

Back to Larry…

I’m not sure of the significance of the name, but Larry seems extremely happy with himself. When we asked him what his last name was he told us Shields, so to complete the picture, my youngest son is now Larry Shields. Connie thinks his new name sounds like a 70’s era porn star. I think he sounds like a bar of deodorant soap (not sure why?). For the most part, Larry still looks, talks and acts like Cayden, but he does walk with a bit of a swagger and his voice is a lot lower.

We’ve been calling him Larry ever since dinner hoping that he would ask for his name back, but the kid is not backing down. I have a very real fear developing that my son, formerly known as Cayden, will be henceforth called Larry right into adulthood. I have seen this phenomenon before. In fact, my Dad’s real name is Wilton, but everyone calls him Joe, and my Mom, Mikki, was given the name Laura at birth. The Groah name curse continued with yours truly.  I was named after my Dad (Wilton) so my first name is Joseph, but they call me Shane. All these years, I thought my parents did this to me. Hell, I bet one night at dinner, I stood up, said my name is Shane, and they played along with it.

Connie and I need to sit him down first thing tomorrow before Larry draws a symbol with a crayon and starts making us refer to him as the boy formally known as Larry. How do you call a kid to dinner if their name is a crayon scribble?

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Larry V posted the following on July 21, 2008 at 8:15 pm.

Hey you two. I can certainly think of much worse names that Cayden could have chosen other than “Larry”. Larry has a certain regalness associated with it – and surely it is a name befitting a Prince, a Duke, or a King!!

Then again, if he’s wearing leisure suits around the house, you know he’s seen the video game!


If it takes me another time typing this exact same post to figure out your “posting method” Shane……I’m going to stop reading your #’n website!!!!! You know I’m from Alabama and I just don’t understand all of this teknologi….

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