You’ve got to be kidding me…

November 21, 2008

My poor truck.  Once again, while I, from the cushiony comfort of the “5-sided puzzle palace”, was busy protecting the American public , my truck was violated.  How’s that for unbelievable?  I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.  Here’s what went down.  When I reached the 5th floor of the parking structure last night and saw my truck parked peacefully in its spot, I felt a surge of relief.  You see, ever since it got stolen the first time, I half expect it to be gone every time I get off work, but there it was right where I left it.

Smiling, I trotted over, hit my automatic door lock thingy and reached for the driver’s side door handle.  That’s when I noticed that some paint had been scraped off-that’s weird- hey look, the door lock’s punched out and the handle is broken- that’s even weirder, right?  When I peered through my window, I noticed that “The Club”, a purchase I made after the last theft, remained defiantly in place, snuggly affixed to my steering wheel. I took some pleasure in knowing that my $20 investment had done it’s job, but I was still a wee bit upset.  In fact, the langauge that spewed forth from my mouth was so heinous that it violates my own Blogger’s code of ethics so I won’t repeat them in print, but I can say that many of the terms I used closely resembled the words: truck, trucking and trucker.

The Mighty Club

The Mighty Club


I couldn’t open the driver’s side door so I went around to the passenger side and started to survey the inside of my truck for damage.  Luckily, the last group of ass-wipes who stole my truck took everything of value so the new group was shit out of luck.  Surprised, they didn’t steal my floor mats just to spite me.  Ha, that will show them- all that effort and nothing to show for it. I realize it’s a minor victory, but Shane doesn’t care about the size of the W, its always better than being in the loss column as far I’m concerned (not sure when I started talking about myself in the third person, must be a result of car theft-related PTSD).

So what’s next?  Well, I called up my insurance company (I have them on speed dial now and know most of them by their first names).  They were happy to hear from me.  It had been a whole week or so since I graced their emergency hotline and they were starting to believe that my luck had somehow turned around.  Maybe they don’t know me as well as I thought.  Next I’ll call my buddy Jason at the Dodge dealership- he’ll be happy to hear from me too.  I can’t believe all the good friends I’ve made as a result of repeatedly getting my car jacked.

To the thieves who want my car so bad- if you’re going to steal my truck, do it right, make the thing disappear. Don’t borrow it for a weekend or do just enough damage that I have to spend a month of Sundays getting it repaired.  Just drive the damn thing off into the sunset never to be heard from again. Like I’ve always said, a job worth doing is a job worth doing right.

Oh, one more thing- you can’t let shit like this ruin your day, it’s just a truck, C’est La Vie, Baby!- I crack myself up… not even I can believe I said that.

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Dennis posted the following on November 21, 2008 at 8:46 pm.

I so miss you as a neighbor(both) . Life here in SoCal is so boring since you moved, you have such luck, eg: credit cards stolen twice from the gym, car bumped in parking lots and fuel line shut down. You make me laugh and cry tears of joy. Your blog fills a void, keep up the great stores and takes on life.

admin posted the following on November 21, 2008 at 9:55 pm.

See I have a witness, I’ve been cursed for at least 10 years or so, makes me wonder how I ended up with such a beautiful family.
You and Donna are missed too Dennis, had a wonderful time seeing you guys, can’t wait for your visit to MD.

Pammy posted the following on November 22, 2008 at 12:43 am.

That bites, Shane. Watch those insurance rates go up just because you keep dialing their number. 🙁

admin posted the following on November 22, 2008 at 8:47 pm.

Thanks Pammy I hadn’t thought about that yet…no anybody who wants to buy a slightly battered red pick up, I’m investing in one of those scooters that all the guys drive around on after their 3rd DUI, I never hear about those geting stolen.

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