They call me Dad

I can move mountains.

I can kick the boogy-man’s ass even on my worst day.

I have every tool ever invented- and know how to properly use most of them.

I love your mother and listen to what she says.

I can beat up your bully’s dad.

I know where you left your favorite toy even if you don’t.

I can teach you how to tie your shoes, make an omelet and shave your face all in the same morning.

I yell- but I’m not a threat.

I can open a jelly jar with my bare hands.

I’m afraid of nothing- except disappointing my children.

And yes son, if your teacher asks you to build a robot out of garbage- I can do that too.

The helmet is a plastic wine glass...Long live Mr. Carlo Rossi!!!