Does this make me a doctor?

January 25, 2009

So not more than an hour after posting a piece on potty training, I get a lovely comment from the Colon Cleansing Institute of the Americas. If you have a dirty colon, you can visit these helpful folks at Isn’t that something- I never knew that someone grew up with the intention of becoming an authority on colon cleaning. That must go over like a lead balloon at their kid’s career day. So Johnny what does your dad do? Well Ms. Crabtree, my dad is a professional cleaner of colons and did you know that a bowel flush can increase your energy up to 100%? I’m sure Johnny’s friends will be amazed.

When I told Connie that the colon cleansing authority had left a comment she said that I had received spam. I don‘t consider it spam- I consider it an opportunity. So I went to their site and come to find out it’s a blog dedicated to providing you with the most current news on advances in general colon maintenance. This is some earth shattering shit (whoops I said shit, I probably just earned another comment). If you decide to venture to this blog you will not only learn to cleanse your colon- you can also learn lots of good stuff about bowel detox and parasitic nasties that live in your pipes. That my friends is some pleasant Sunday reading, dive right in- just do so after you’ve already eaten breakfast.

The colon cleansing blog claims to provide only quality information on the health and care of your colon. The funny thing is, when I hit the link and worked my way to the bottom of the page I found my post “I have some solid advice for you”. What do you know, I guess the path to a healthy colon begins with how well you‘ve mastered potty training.

(As a disclaimer I had no idea that my post would have such wide reaching implications. When I originally wrote it, I had no intentions of becoming a board member or contributing author to the Colon Authority’s website. Not sure if I should be proud or alarmed that somehow that’s exactly what I managed to do. I fear that my new found “Colon fame” will result in a flood of comments and emails from people desperately seeking sage advice on the general health and welfare of their digestive systems- to be honest I am a fraud when it comes to colon care and have nothing legitimate to offer them. Besides I have to wonder if these are the folks I want pilgrimaging to my web page- I can only imagine that, like their bowels, they’re probably quite irritable.)

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Jennifer posted the following on January 25, 2009 at 7:16 pm.

Doctor? No, poop expert? Indeed!

P.S. According to your blog anti-spam word I am now a “rockstar.” Now that’s some funny shit!

admin posted the following on January 25, 2009 at 9:20 pm.

If I can be an expert on poop then you most certainly be a rockstar- or astronaut- or librarian- you pick, the world is your oyster.

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