I knew I was in trouble a couple of weeks ago when I looked out our back window to find my son crawling through the grass stalking a crow like a Marine sniper stalking an enemy target. Wait a minute what’s that in his hand? Is that a spear? Good God Mack is armed and is about to skewer a city chicken. I yelled for Mack and the bird flew away- Mack looked defeated.

BTW the spear was homemade, we don’t have no-shit spears laying around our house and we certainly don’t let Mack go outdoors armed with authentic weaponry.

The idea of Mack killing a crow with a makeshift spear was a little unsettling but I figured after our discussion about eating whatever you kill he would give up on his back yard safari fantasy. I was wrong.

When I looked out our back window this weekend I saw Mack perched in a tree about six feet off the ground- so of course I investigated. Sure enough my boy had built himself a real life tree stand and was patiently waiting for his prey to come within range. Couple of things Mack forgot about. One, the Groah Family forest consist of about 3 trees and a half dead bush- we aren‘t exactly sportin a rain forest back there. Two, our yard is fenced so the likelihood of any big game venturing into our area to hide behind one of our three trees is pretty slim. Finally, he had no weapon other than a baseball sized rock.

If left to his own devices the scenario would have unfolded one of two ways. First possibility, Mack gets bored and tosses the rock at a squirrel in the process he becomes off balanced and plummets to the earth knocking himself unconscious. Second possibility his little brother happens along and catches Mack’s weapon of choice right between the running lights. Either way a non-desirable afternoon would soon follow.

I took the rock and gave Mack a pair of binoculars and told him that the news had reported a gorilla sighting in our neighborhood, he believed me- its Monday night and he is still out there. Sure is cold tonight.