I put the man-creatures to bed tonight and as usual I had to run through the litany of “what if” questions.  “Dad, what if I have a bad dream?”  “Dad, what if I fall out of bed?”  “Dad, what if I grow a third eye?”  And of course my personal all time favorite- “Dad, what if I forget how to fall asleep?” 

Normally, I have just enough patience left from the long work day to put up with the majority  of questions thrown my way- but tonight I was tired.  So instead of entertaining 300 “what if” questions with reasonable responses I let loose with a blast of sarcasm that ended up working against me.

Cayden- “Dad, what if I have to poop in the middle of the night and I can’t go because it’s stuck in  my butt?”

Dad- “Well Cayden, what if a monkey comes cartwheeling out of my butt and I become the “Amazing Baboon Ass” and run off with the circus never to be heard from again?

Silence

Giggle, chuckle, snot bubble, snort…

As I left the room the boys were still laughing.

As I walked down the stairs I could hear them discussing all of the possible objects that could come cartwheeling out of their rectums.

They’ll be up for hours now- all because Shane ran out of patience and let his sarcastic sense of humor get the better of him.

when will I ever learn?