Deal with the Devil…

December 6, 2009

I agreed to take the boys to Chuck E. Cheese this morning for some “game play” if they willingly cleaned up the  basement.  Funny, I don’t remember bartering chores for fun when I was a kid.  The only compromise I can recall was something like “if you clean up your mess I won’t pull your lips over your head”- a far cry from the bribery that I currently employ. 

Things have surely changed.  

Apparently my boys have been led to believe that there are no absolutes in the parent/child relationship- everything is negotiable.  Somehow I’ve come to accept this notion as well, as I often participate in the bargaining cycle like a first time home owner at closing.  Since when did the boys and I enter into an agreement where all of our opinions were weighed equally?  I often have to remind myself that it is “I” who pay the mortgage, shop for groceries and put “Tony Hawk” skate shoes on their feet- plus if you abide by neanderthal rules I outweigh each of them by at least 150lbs.  So my opinion should matter slightly more than the kid who thinks “Glitter Glue” is made form the fart residue of the “Trix” Rabbit.

I wonder what my Dad would have done if he had asked me to do something and I said “You know I’m not really feeling it right now, maybe later”.  It’s likely the preservation of my meager life would be directly attributed to the sudden cardiac arrest he experienced as my flagrant disregard for his authority sunk into his “brain housing” group.

Fortunately for him, the word “no” never passed beyond my subconscious thought.  I didn’t have an ounce of intestinal fortitude when it came to my parents- they said do something and I did it- at least until I hit puberty (then I became a bit of a smart ass).

It makes me wonder what magical parenting theories my folks used to achieve this level of unquestioning obedience to orders?  It couldn’t have been anything founded in research data or trial tested on prisoners- hell, 40-years ago parenting advice consisted of “during pregnancy smoke filtered cigarettes and try to limit yourself to beer and wine during the last trimester”.  If you compare that to what parents put themselves through today it’s a wonder that any of us survived at all- let alone obeyed our parent’s demands.  You would think that with all of the expert advice we’re recieving our kids should be 6’3, 200lbs of tightly packed muscle with IQ’s in the genius range- if you have one of these kids let me know we’ve yet to have one over for a play date. 

I just don’t get it?

Should I throw away “What to Expect…” and purchase a carton of Camels- or should I convince myself that kids are different today because of the crazy hormone levels found in boneless chicken breast?

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Teri and the cats of Furrydance posted the following on December 6, 2009 at 9:21 pm.

coming from someone who never birthed a baby but has birthed lots of kittens…they just need direction…how you get them there is your own beeswax…

shane posted the following on December 6, 2009 at 10:04 pm.

Teri, if you can truly give birth to a kitten- then we’re going on the road- we are gonna make soooo much money 🙂

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