Don’t eat string…

August 14, 2011

Run Carlo Run!

I just learned that if you eat a bunch of thread all of your poop will come out linked together like a giant string of cultured pearls. Apparently it’s scary as hell too, because no matter how fast you run to escape you can’t gain any distance on your poop because it’s attached to your ass like a kite tail.

Yes, I agree this is a nasty predicament to be in and the guy that gets recruited to cut the string will likely feel the same- but the good news is everyone else who witnesses you running through the back yard trying to outrun your own excrement is going to think it hilarious. Don’t be surprised if they break out their cell phones in an attempt to memorialize your plight on “You-Tube”.

I don’t eat string so this has never happened to me. And though my boys have flushed an entire roll of dental floss down the toilet creating somewhat similar results to the plumbing in my home- I don’t think they’ve actually ever eaten any- at least that Connie and I know of. But my youngest boy- Carlo – well let’s just say he has a craving for hemp that his digestive tract doesn’t support. Luckily, Carlo also likes to consume toilet paper so the whole cycle of events that unfolded in my backyard was a wash. Sort of a “self licking ice cream cone” if you will.

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