What do you want to be when you grow up?

March 10, 2016
Mack has found a new passion in life- he makes weapons. I guess I should be worried that my 8-year old son has fashioned a completely functioning crossbow out of rubber bands and old chop sticks. Or maybe I should be alarmed that he acquired the knowledge to build such a weapon from You Tube videos titled “Homemade weapons”. Lastly, maybe I should show a little parental concern because Cayden just shot through the kitchen with a pie-tin-sized bullseye taped to his back. But I’m not concerned. This statement probably makes me sound like a horrible parent, but I can explain.

The reason my panties remain un-bunched is that, so far, every weapon that Mack has built is pathetically inadequate for taking down Cayden-sized prey. I’ve seen several of his creations throughout the weekend and I believe the majority of them are as benign as a feather duster. He has a homemade BB gun made from a mechanical pencil, a dart gun which used to squirt water, and the above mentioned chop stick hurling crossbow. He told me the other day that he was “born to make weapons”- that admission was a bit unsettling. No parent wants to announce that their child is an international weapons manufacturer at the local garden club meeting, unless of course the club meets in Baghdad.

The one piece of his newfound fascination that is alarming is that the Marine in me can’t stand to see an ineffective weapons system and the tinker-er in me has the technology to make those weapons better, stronger, faster- sort of like the guy who rebuilt Steve Austin after his spaceship crashed in the 6-Million Dollar Man.

So when Mack wasn’t looking, I tinkered with his dart gun and increased the muzzle velocity on the damn thing by approximately 300%- enough to fire a toothpick clean through a ½ inch piece of sheet rock (our dining room wall happens to be made of just such a substance- this is how I know the thickness- oops). Smelling a potential lawsuit, I quickly reversed the modifications I had made and put it back on the counter.

Note to self- deny my services if Mack finds “You Tube” directions for homemade hand grenades.



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